come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
