so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
