I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
