All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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