NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
