Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
