Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
