I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
