i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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