just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
