dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
