is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
