Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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