Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
