scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
