he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I will pee on everything he values.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
