He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize