I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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