I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
