I hate all girls vehemently.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
