I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
