the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
