Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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