My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
