one two three fourrrrnication!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
