I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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