p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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