How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
