he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
