Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
