How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
