don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
