He is an equal opportunity slut.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
