You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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