There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
