Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
