Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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