Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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