He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
