im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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