so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
