I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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