Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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