8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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