Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
