im about as happy as oj after his trial
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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