are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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