And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize