apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
