it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
