dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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