Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
so much tequila, so little girl.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
