What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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