Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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