OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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