I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you made out with another girl for some wings
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
