Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
