Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
