do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
