i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
