Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
