I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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