She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
