im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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