Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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