Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
