i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
