Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
